Gifted Student Can't Enter Gymnastics Because of Big Bulge in Front

Written by Bureau

Thursday, 20 February 2014

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Stuart Hawkins of Boonesborrough, Kentucky is a very talented 14-year old that is one of the country's greatest gymnast as a high school student but refuses to compete.

Whenever anyone asks why, he just says that it's personal.

However, our reporter is stubborn and kept asking questions.

Does it have to do with your religion? So you cannot compete on certain days?

No answer.

You have to work for your family on the weekends and after school because you come from a one parent family so you can't compete?

"Look, I said it was personal. But you're not going to give up are you?"


"OK, but don't say anything about it."

"Who me? Never!"

"I can't wear those tight gym suits because I'm hung like Man O War! That was a horse! Oh you know that? Well, if I put that gym suit on, I'd be written about all over the country and be joked about on all those Late Night Shows! "Stuart Hawkins-A Kentucky Long Rifle!" I can see it now."

Of course, we reporters all say those type things. We are out after the news. Hmmm. How about "Sea Biscuit" instead of Man O War?.. Yeah. Only it was Seabiscuit, one word, I think."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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