Susan Boyle has a boyfriend

Funny story written by Evil

Monday, 9 December 2013

image for Susan Boyle has a boyfriend
Acer was recently treated for a yeast infection.

LONDON (TS!) - Singer Susan Boyle says she has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism which has caused her to scare away men.

Boyle told the Observer newspaper that she saw a specialist a year ago, who told her she had Asperger's and it was necessary for her to find a boyfriend before she gets any older.

Boyle, 52, had difficulties as a child, when her peers told her she looked like Nessie the Loch Ness Monster.

"I have always known that I have had an unfair label put upon me," Boyle said in the interview, published Sunday.

"Now I have a clearer understanding about my body and I feel relieved and a bit more relaxed about my sexual desires."

In her teens, she began naming objects in her home. She named her toothbrush Charles, her soda bottle James, her bed post Harold, her broom stick Adam, her favorite pencil Laddie, her finger Abbott, and her rolling pin King Henry.

The church volunteer from a small Scottish town became a global sensation when she sang the Les Miserables number I Dreamed a Dream on TV contest Britain's Got Talent in 2009.

She is now receiving therapy sessions with a horse named Acer. Doctors are pleased she has bonded with the horse and she is able to find full satisfaction. "Soon she will be able to bond with men after practicing with Acer," said Dr. Eddie Long.

Acer is serving as her imaginary boyfriend she communicates with.

The singer said she was glad she, and others, would now have a better understanding of the struggles she experiences.

"I would say I have relationship difficulties, communicative difficulties, which lead to a lot of frustration. If people were a bit more patient, that would help," she told the newspaper.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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