Massachusetts Bans Tootsie Roll Pops

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 15 December 2013

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Massachusetts will soon become a non-Tootsie Roll Pop state.

BOSTON - Massachusetts State Senator Ambrose B. Tamburello [R-Chicopee] led a movement to ban Tootsie Roll Pops from being sold anywhere in the state of Massachusetts.

After a highly heated argument the vote was taken and the Anti-Tootsie Roll Bill was passed by a vote of 23-17.

Senator Tamburello had argued that the reason why he wanted the popular candy sucker banned was because he received a lot of complaints from his district constituents.

He added that they commented that they felt that the name Tootsie is derogatory toward females.

Many women said that they put it in the same category as broad, dame, and bimbo.

A spokesperson for the company that manufactures Tootsie Roll Pops commented that it will be Massachusetts loss and that the Tootsie Roll Pop shipments that were destined for Massachusetts will simply be diverted to Vermont and New Hampshire.

SIDENOTE: American Spotlight Magazine is reporting that Faye Lynn Waferwood, 21, who is the reigning Miss Tootsie Roll Pop Queen of Massachusetts is very disappointed and extremely despondent.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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