CONNECTICUT--In defiance of simple highway courtesy, commuters on I-95 southbound reported Wednesday that the owner of a 2005 Volvo S60 was traveling at a paltry 78 miles per hour, despite the fact that the car was in the left-hand lane.
"God, can you believe this jerk?" Paul Hartnett, 31, was overheard saying as he tailgated the snail-like Volvo. "I'd like to get to New Canaan sometime before Thanksgiving, you moron!"
The Volvo, shuttling a pathetic 23 miles over the posted speed limit of 55, cruised along, oblivious to the headache being created for travelers who actually know how to navigate roads.
"What an idiot. Move to the center lane if you're going to drive like an 80-year-old woman," commented Hartford resident Manuel Parker, 39, as he passed the probably-blind imbecile.
At press, the insufferable slowpoke was using his turn signal to switch lanes like some sort of child.