One Direction bus causes Right nightmare

Written by Max Field

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

image for One Direction bus causes Right nightmare
In their dreams... Bus is stuck

Teen heartthrobs One Direction's future looks uncertain as they remain stuck on their tour bus in Thirsk, North Yorkshire. They have been trapped in the town since Thursday afternoon, when the driver was unable to negotiate his way out of the central one-way system in the bus, which only turns right.

'We knew something like this would happen one day,' said a worried Louis Tomlinson. 'It's all Harry's fault, he asked for the bus to be specially made this way. He could very well have finished us here.'

However, Harry Styles remained militant last night, maintaining that his idea was a good one. 'It's all about consistency,' he told us, defiantly. 'How can you have a band called One Direction travelling round in a vehicle that goes in two directions? There's no logic in that at all.'

The coach, which finally ran out of diesel on Saturday morning, has been parked up on the kerb outside the town's Post Office ever since, blocking the entrance.

Local resident Norah Tallhusband, 98, has been waiting for the bus to be moved since Monday to enable her to get her pension. 'This is well out of order,' she steamed, 'me and the cats are starving and I can't pay the Provi man.'

Norah's husband Maurice, 101, is even more angry. 'I'll chin the little sods soon if they don't shift,' he bellowed. I may only be 4 foot 9, but I've got enough fire in my belly to flatten the lot of them.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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