A 91-Year-Old Chattanooga Woman Claims Anthony Weiner Is Sexting Her

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 5 September 2013

image for A 91-Year-Old Chattanooga Woman Claims Anthony Weiner Is Sexting Her
Hattie Lulu Proctorpicker, 91, is getting divorced after being married for 70 years.

CHATTANOOGA - Hattie Lulu Proctorpicker, 91, a lifelong resident of Chattanooga, Tennessee has just come forward and informed the news media that for the past four weeks she has been receiving sexually-explicit text messages from Anthony Weiner.

Mrs. Proctorpicker, who is in the process of getting a divorce from her husband of 70 years, Woodrow "Woody" Proctorpicker, said that she has no idea why in the world Weiner is sending her sext messages since she's a hardcore Republican and he's a Democrat.

She said that she figures that he may have gotten her name mixed up with her 26-year-old great granddaughter who has the same exact name as her Hattie Lulu Proctorpicker.

Old Hattie Lulu said that young Hattie Lulu is absolutely gorgeous and she was the first runner up in last year's Miss Chattanooga Beauty Pageant.

She is currently on the NFL Tennessee Titans cheerleading squad.

SIDENOTE. The elder Hattie Lulu Proctorpicker says that she is going to write President Obama a letter and inform him about Anthony Weiner and ask him to tell him to stop sending her sext messages.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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