Obama Creates Chaos At Fort Belvoir Golf Club

Written by G. Brookings

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

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The President and his large entourage created a mass confusion and significant resentment when after playing the first hole at the famed course he skipped to the third hole, bypassing other parties of golfers ahead of him.

When asked by a pool reporter assigned to cover the evolution of Obama's golf game and track his handicap why he took this action, Obama laughed and then replied, "After some reflection, it is crystal clear to me that the current second hole is an abomination and should actually be the ninth hole. I have previously informed the Fort Belvoir Golf Committee of my position on this, but they have not listened."

"What did they say to your request?"

"It wasn't a request. I told them previously that failure to act and modify their course would be crossing a red line, with significant consequences."

"But, Mr. President," the reporter pressed, "you played here, just last week, after threatening Syria with war, and you followed the course in order as it is laid out."

"I have the constitutional authority as commander in chief to decide such questions at a military installation and therefore I have concluded that I don't need the approval of the Golf Committee to proceed." The President then ordered the Secret Service to exchange the hole number designations for holes two and nine.

Having played out the third hole, the President then angled off toward the tee for hole number five, drawing more groans from his entourage and the other players on the course.

"Mr. President," the reported asked timorously, "we seem to have gone off course. The fourth hole is that way."

"We aren't off course, son," Obama replied. "I planned to take this route all along, from the beginning. All part of the grand plan," President said, smiling knowingly. "You need to trust me. A shot across the bow of the Golf Committee is just what is needed to get their attention. I don't actually plan to change holes four and five at all."

"I do trust you, Mr. President," the reported confided, "but these sudden changes in direction are making everyone dizzy."

"Well, did I promise 'change you could believe in'…or what?" the President laughed, continuing to walk past hole five on his way to hole six, setting off a panic among the Secret Service.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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