Obama Double Underlines Syrian Red Line

Written by G. Brookings

Saturday, 24 August 2013

image for Obama Double Underlines Syrian Red Line
Red Line Washes Up on Shore

With the recent reports of yet another chemical attack by Syrian President Assad's forces on the rebels -- often described by the administration as "his own people," although it is not clear that he sees them that way - the pressure is on the Obama administration to act on the previously defined "red-line" forbidding Assad to use such weapons. Many analysts expected the administration to do what it did before, only more so, sending larger caliber target ammunition and more advanced clay pigeons used in skeet shooting as well as beer cans and fence posts to help train the rebels in the use of pistols, shotguns and rifles.

But today the administration surprised the world with its real plan. Reports are now streaming in from American bases in the Middle East that a convoy of warships is now steaming toward Syria carrying a brighter and thicker red line that will be rolled out and floated in the Mediterranean off the coast of Lebanon. Presidential spokesman Jay Carney, just back from his secret love vacation with UN Ambassador Samantha Powers, announced that the enhanced red line - made of thousands of individual flotation devices -- is ten miles in length and should be visible and unmistakable even from Damascus. "Make no mistake," Carney was quoted as saying, "the President has fundamentally transformed the concept of the red line. We hope President Assad gets the message this time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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