Idaho Passes The Nation's First Road Kill Bill

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 5 August 2013

image for Idaho Passes The Nation's First Road Kill Bill
This stretch of Idaho highway averages 6 road kills per day including possums, skunks, and wolverines.

BOISE, Idaho - Idaho has become the first state in the union to pass a new road kill bill.

According to state Senator Brogan F. Candlefish [D-Pocatello], the bill registered as Idaho Road Kill Bill 001 states that anyone who runs over any type of livestock or other animal on any Idaho highway will be required to stop and remove the animal carcass.

Senator Candlefish stated that the bill barely squeaked by with a vote of 18-17.

He pointed out that the reason why the bill was introduced was because the state had cutback 27 percent of its highway workers.

The senator explained that as a result there is virtually no one who can be spared to go out and pick up animals or varmints that have been hit by vehicles.

The bill stipulates that any motorist who fails to stop and pick up the animal they have just hit will be fined $17,285.

Senator Candlefish stated that he agrees that the fine may be a bit high but he stressed that the state will not put up with having a bunch of dead animals strewn all over the state's highways.

Idaho Road Kill Bill 001 clearly states that if someone violates the new bill a second time then that person will forfeit the right to vote plus he or she will have their cell phone taken away from them and they had better not even think about getting another one.

SIDENOTE: The job of highway road kill remover is a job that not very many people care to do. In fact, the state of Michigan had to actually end up hiring six individuals from Canada using the incentive of instant U.S. citizenship.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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