Summer Awards and Festivities Announced

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 18 July 2013

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The first 100 guests to the ceremonies will receive a free bobble-head of this ancient warrior

The White House has indicated ceremonies and awards in upcoming festivities honoring recent and ongoing achievements.

The awards are being carefully vetted by a bi-partisan commission from Perception Management and Bright Stripes Corporation (motto "Pecunium Aeternum Vigiliantia" or "Eternal Money Vigilance You Can't Go Wrong").

So far, these awards lie at the top of the list:

*The Persistency and Doggedness For War With Iran Trophy has been dedicated to Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu for "ability to ratchet up the drums of war on the issue of nuclear power and keep those drums rolling." This award includes special tribute to "automatic hostility, despite lack of hard evidence and change of leadership in Iran, plus lock-step, continuous support from the US in maintaining that hostility."

*The Distraction from the Real Issue Award goes to the mainstream media (MSM) in general, with special honors to MSNBC and The Washington Post, "for demonizing and criminalizing various whistle-blowers and associated journalists in their attempts to alert the US public on what is really going on in White House administrations of the past few decades."

*The Successful Continuance of Bush Senior and Junior Policies Tribute goes to the Obama administration and its spokespersons "for laudably restraining from reforms suggested in election seasons, and sensibly maintaining (or increasing) surveillance programs, war, and drone activities."

*The Nobility of Government and Respect for International Law Achievement also goes to the Obama administration "for its actions in reminding other countries of America's central position in deciding what is right and good globally, including police actions affecting international airspace that may at times, in all sobriety and the name of justice, affect the travel arrangements of other nations' presidents."

*The Neighborhood Vigilance and Stand Your Ground Trophy has been awarded to the State of Florida "in pursuit of justice, gun rights, and various malingerers who might stand in the way of these principles, plus the manufacture of ankle, shin, and wrist holsters."

*The Texas Legislature and Governor Birth-rite Tribute honors recent activity in Texas led by Governor Rick Perry "wherein the male's sperm has been granted the full rights of personhood (status of zygote)" and "for establishing The Reserve Barrel Sperm Project in Texas warehouses large enough for a 100 year supply."

These awards will be presented in a summer bi-partisan ceremony at The White House, following a concert by The Heavenly Angels Chorale conducted by General Keith Alexander, and a reading of "Charge of the Light Brigade" by Vice-President Joe Biden.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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