Written by anthonyrosania

Friday, 21 June 2013


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image for Paula Deen Blows Off Today Show Interview To Drink Malt Liquor and Apply For Food Stamps
"How do you babysit a n-word baby? No, it's not a joke. I need to know.

Fresh from admitting that she routinely referred to African-Americans as "n-words", Food Network Fry-cook Paula Deen acted like one this morning when the celebrity porker completely blew off a Today Show interview-- and the show's all-white cast is mad as hell! (1)

"I can't, myself, determine what offends another person."
When Deen was asked if she considered jokes using the N-word 'mean', she responded, "Many jokes target groups... I can't, myself, determine what offends another person." Really? Here's a good rule of thumb, stupid. If you look around the room to ensue there are no African-Americans before you tell the joke, it's fucking mean, you sow.

"Ms. Deen's desire to stay at home, drink malt liquor and watch Moesha reruns on VH-1 --rather than showing up for work today-- has little to do with her hatred of brown people," said balding Today Show hack Matt Lauer.

Deen, 82, has come under fire after admitting that she's used racial epithets in sworn testimony.

"Yes, of course," Deen replied. She added that "It's been a very long time" since she used the word. "Like two weeks or something."

Deen said she likely used the N-word to describe the jigaboos who held her up at gunpoint when she worked as a bank teller in the 1980s. She also said she may have used the word when describing conversations between African-American employees at her restaurants.

"But that's just not a word that we use as time has gone on," Deen said.

"Seriously, it's been like a WEEK since I've made fun of the darkies."

(1) Al Roker doesn't count.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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