Lesbian Divorce Case Proves that US Gay Marriage has Been a Success

Written by mikewadestr

Friday, 15 June 2012

image for Lesbian Divorce Case Proves that US Gay Marriage has Been a Success
Are you sure you're Sally?

The ongoing divorce trial between two North Carolinian lesbians has garnered a huge sigh of relief from gay marriage advocates who can now boast that gay marriage actually works.

The divorce between Sally Sandwich and Jenny Plug has been going on for close to 7 months now with no end in sight, which happens to be 1 month more than the entire time they were married. Both sides appear to be down right adamant on doing their best to best the other.

"This is fantastic", decried Sally Sandwich's divorce lawyer Edwin Meisterfibber, who just happens to be Jenny Plug's divorce lawyer too. "So many of us in the legal profession were afraid of being how do you say? 'Hung out to dry', due to the fact that gay people would never get divorced. Now that this case is happening, all of us in the divorce profession can happily sing: Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka-ching!"

"This is great", exclaimed gay marriage advocate Loretta Loveless. "These two are fighting a divorce that is just like a normal nasty heterosexual divorce. I mean, here they have a kid between them, who was conceived through vitro-fertilization in a helium balloon that neither of them gave a damn about when they were married. Hell, they constantly argued over who's turn it was to watch him, and instead of watching the kid, they both just rubbed him on a piece of cloth and stuck him to the wall for the evening".

"Now they both want the kid. Is that awesome or what. Hell, in the fourth week of their divorce the judge got so fed up with them that he finally took an axe to their Lizzy Borden collector's edition button and gave it forty whacks, and yet they still are arguing over who got the best pieces".

Even gay marriage detractors have acknowledged that gay marriage is starting to look down-right normal.

"Boy, when Sally Sandwich took a bulldozer and plowed down half the house and said: 'That's my half of the house', I was just truly amazed", said no-longer Republican Presidential Candidate Newt Gingrich. "I was awestruck by Jenny Plug's retaliation when she bulldozed down the town's International House of Painedcakes and proclaimed: 'So where are you going to get your waffles now, bitch?'

When asked how in the hell the two lesbians managed to get married in the state of North Carolina which does not allow gay marriages in the first place, Justice of the Peace Lonny Club answered:

"Lesbians aren't gays. Hell, what heterosexual man doesn't like watching two lesbians get it on in an x-rated film? If a guy doesn't like it, then he's gay".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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