Written by jd Balderdash

Wednesday, 10 May 2006

image for President Bush Solves Rubik's Cube "Lite" in Under 80 Hours
Bush, a bit perplexed, day 11

Rubik Inc, maker of the wildly popular Rubik's Cube last month released a "lite" version of it's mind-boggling squarepants shaped puzzle which the President of the United States solved in less than 2 weeks.

"Sure there's only 4 squares and 2 colors" one White House spokesman pointed out going on to explain,

"But those 2 colors, which the Presidents describes as Kinda_Purple_Like and Very_Berry_Grape are extremely hard for the human eye to differentiate let alone the President."

Most White House aids agree that Mr Bush is indeed proud of his Rubik-cal accomplishment and as one unspecified source said,

"Prouder about it than his Iraq victory even."

Manuel Chavez of Phoenix, one of the first solvers of the ORIGINAL Rubik's Cube (of which there is only 1 correct answer and 43 quintillion wrong ones) expressed his admiration of the President saying,

"Last week I solved the new LITE version of the cube in under 13 seconds. Mr Bush is a very busy man so I'm sure it didn't actually take him 2 weeks 'clock-time' to match the 4 blocks. Did it? Tell me that didn't happen".

The White House is not talking. DID it take the President 80 hours to solve a puzzle so simple that Gwyneth Paltrow's year old daughter Apple finished during a Sponge Bob Square Pants commercial break?

Senator John Kerry also claims to have solved the original Rubik's Cube .. back in 1968 in Nam .. while commanding his swift boat down the Bay Hap river. Kerry told reporters,

"Enemy fire was sporadic that day so I put the swift boat on autopilot and took a short break to down a couple of cold ones and solve Rubik's Cube."

Of course moments after solving the Cube Kerry was nicked in the left arm by a splinter splinting from one of the swift boat's railings after the railing was nicked by a stray Viet Cong bullet. For which Kerry received not one but 27 purple hearts .. 3 of them from the military itself."

Inside White House sources say that the president's morale is high, his confidence stellar after solving Rubik's Cube Lite. As one unnamed aide said,

"Mr Bush is seriously thinking about playing a game of Tetris. Once he figures out how to switch on a personal computer."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: popular, puzzle

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
60 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more