Wacko, TX--In an attempt to revive the tradition of the "Old Wild West Show", so popular at the turn of the century, local entrepreneur Lazlo Thicket is about to launch a conflict tribute tour updated for the turn of a new century.
Thicket plans to up date the theme and make it relevant to people of today. He plans to replace the old out dated "cowboys and Indians' motif with modern protagonists more in tune with the times.
Thicket states, "We plan to completely up date the idea, and we plan to give the consumer more bang for his buck. In stead of confining ourselves to just two groups of antagonists, we will be offering several." Thicket is currently rumored to have several ideas under review.
Ideas purported to be under consideration include, a World War I scenario where actors portraying, German, French and English soldiers will dig miniature trenches and hurl nerf artillery shells at each other while performing colorful renditions of their respective national anthems. John Travolta is under consideration for the part of Canuck fighter ace Roy Brown, who high above the crowd will perform daring feats of aeronautic prestidigitation and will down the colorful German ace, the Red Baron six nights a week and once during the Sunday afternoon matinee. The highlight of the show is expected to be when the American troops finally show up, plant old glory and lead the victors off into the sunset.
A World War II scenario under consideration is rumored to include hordes of nattily dressed Germans goose stepping over colorful miniatures of Paris and Warsaw. A six hundred thousand cubic meter man made lake will see squadrons of brightly festooned Kamazazi hang gliders attacking replicas of the Pacific Fleet, while packs of miniature U boats sink and destroy conveys of British merchant vessels. The Americans are again expected to supply the finale of the show as Travolta reprises the roll of Enola Gay pilot Paul Tibbets and incinerates a life like one five hundredth scale model of Hiroshima.
The Vietnam era portion of the show is expected to be a gala of sight and sound. Opening week guest musical artists may include, "The Grateful Dead", "The Jefferson Air Plane" and a Jimmy Hendrix tribute band. The vivid re-enactment will start by the "stinky French" vacating a lush jungle set, including rice paddies and meandering streams. The dramatic back and forth actions will be punctuated by displays of vibrant pyrotechnics as combatants from both sides trigger a number of brightly colored booby traps and anti personnel devices. Again the Americans will finish up the show. This time they will retrieve old glory and slink off with their tails between their legs.
There is an Iraqi scenario under consideration but the producers are having a little trouble deciding who should get to wear the white head gear.