Rush Limbaugh Demands To See "The Breastfeeding Mama" Son's Birth Certificate

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 12 May 2012


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The infamous "Breastfeeding Mama" relaxing before the 12 noon feeding. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh stated that just when you think you have seen it all here comes Time Magazine with a cover showing a 26-year-old woman openly breastfeeding her little 3-year-old boy who looks like he could be closer to 7.

Limbaugh noted that the little dude is wearing Boy Scout camouflage pants, a Led Zeppelin Rocks T-shirt, and tennis shoes that Dustin Hoffman could wear.

The mom looks a little like Ivanka Trump except that she is not as tall, rich, or as well-endowed in the tata's department.

El Rusho pointed out that he most certainly has a problem with a woman breastfeeding her baby in public.

He added that if a woman wants to breastfeed her over sized infant two pints of milk, and let him use her breasts as punching bags that is perfectly fine with him, but do it in private and not in front of people who do not care to see a public display of her mammaries.

He also noted that the "little' fella definitely looks like he could easily be playing T-ball right now.

The GOP mouthpiece emphasized that any mom who breast feeds her child has no business doing so if the child can play games on the cell phone, put together a model airplane, and is big enough to mow the grass.

Rush has let it be known that he is demanding to see the birth certificate of the Breastfeeding Mama's boy.

He wants to find out exactly how old he really is because if he's three, then Joan "The Moan" Rivers is a teenage girl with raging hormones, Chaz Bono is anorexic, and Whoopi Goldberg is a female member of the Klu Klux Klan.

Comedian Zydeco Dupree stated that the Breastfeeding Mama has already been approached about having her 'little' boy appear in a "Got Milk?" commercial.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lindsay Lohan stated that she herself was breastfed up until the age of 8, and she turned out perfectly normal. Hmmmm.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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