Written by Adam Click

Sunday, 29 April 2012

image for 24 Hour News Channel Goes Dark After Anchor Collapses
Doctors look for telltale signs of brain damage after Wayne Mathews five day stint as a twenty four hour news anchor.

Just five days after it went on the air, Ape Pee News, a 24 hour news channel went dark this afternoon after it's one and only anchor person,Wayne Mathews,collapsed from fatigue.

"Frankly, we're disappointed." announced Ape Pee Spokesperson, Rhonda Evans, in a tersely worded statement released just hours later, "We really thought he would last longer."

Mr. Mathews put up a valiant fight. He took one ten minute break every four hours,swigged gallons of coffee and took laps around the studio during film clips trying to stay alert.

In the end, experts say, those efforts probably worked against him. "There's only so much the human body can put up with before you start having problems. We are currently considering several options. A 12 hour news channel is not out of the question."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: TV, News




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