Hairy Bikers Fall Foul Of Italian Style

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

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Hairy Bikers get short shrift in Italy.

Popular motor-cycling TV cooks, The Hairy Bikers, have some embarrassing encounters in tonight's episode of their latest programme.

For the last few weeks in the BBC's The Hair Bikers' Bake-ation, Si King and Dave Myers have been motor-cycling around Europe, sampling the different baking delights of different countries.

So far they have visited bakers and patisseries in Norway, Germany, Belgium and Hungary among others.

But they come a cropper tonight as they venture into Italy - the cameras capture them being booed in attractive medieval cities and turned away with the traditional raised fist gesture from posh caf├ęs and bakeries.

A spokesman for the Italian Bakers Federation said: "Whadda you bluddy expec', eh? Two bluddy grite 'airy blowks blowing into la bella Italia on two bluddy grite bikes.

"You notta know thees ees the land ovva da Lambretta, da Vespa? 'Ow ees stoopeeda you canna get, eh?

"An' wha' dey bluddy wearing, eh? You woulda thinka da least they coulda dun was wear bluddy Armani, eh? But no... they dressa like all you bluddy northern Europeans - alla stoopeed shorts with pockets inna da leg and bluddy flippety-floppa sandals.

"Bluddy 'airy bikers - ees bluddy insulta!"

*EIF News & Features apologises for yet another cheap foreign stereotype. Er, that's it, really. At least we laid off the Sweaties this time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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