Sex-Addicted Apes Facing Extinction, Have Sex Every Few Minutes

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 17 March 2012


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"Who's next?"

The Bonobo "Whoopee" Apes in the Democratic Republic of the Congo are becoming extinct even though they have sex every few minutes, even while they're eating.

"It is an amazing fact", stated Penelope Swinger of one Bonobo Sanctuary in the central African country. "We have about thirty here to study. We're trying to discover why there are less than half as many Bonobo apes as there were only ten years ago."

Researchers say that the apes have a very low fertility rate but many have been killed and eaten, apparently with the hopes of being able to copulate as often as these guys do.

Many other Bonobo apes have died, along with other animals and humans during the long civil war in the Congo.

The Bonono Apes are the closest species to humans according to many scientists.

"Sounds like they're at least close to the human males", stated Swinger. "I've heard of several cases of men screwing themselves into an early grave. That's a joke by the way. Don't even have to bury them. They screw themselves right into their graves."

The interview ended shortly thereafter, when one male reporter told Swinger that at least one female had to be a close relative to the Bonobos because she looked so much like one.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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