DEADWOOD, SOUTH DAKOTA - Thousands of black-gowned, fang-toothed counter-culturists, all unified by the desire to be recognized by mainstream, so called "natural phenomenalists", gathered in this appropriately named town in the Black Hills of South Dakota for the 6th Annual National Alien Convention.
Normally non-political, but having recognized of late that more and more Zombies were being identified in the last census, their leadership council decided to invite President Barack Obama to speak at this year's convention in Deadwood. Recognizing that this group might provide him access to voters that may have slipped through the cracks in the past election, the President readily agreed to this engagement.
Wearing the same red-lipped, devilish make-up and horns that some crack-pot photo-shop artist created for him three years ago, Barack Obama stepped to the podium which was backed by American flags with 50 bats hovering above the red and white stripes of our National ensign.
Shifting his eyes from one TelePrompter to the other, his ghoulish vermilion lips resonating with conservative smack-down venom, Barack Hussein Obama synchronized his rhythmic delivery with the collective echoing heartbeat of the multitude of Zombies before him. With their piercing eyes reflecting the passion that distinguished them from other run-of-the-mill maniacs, thousands of pairs of pot-blackened Zombie lips pursed-up to form the chamber from which hauntingly shrill "boos" concatenated from within, like dyspeptic bats flushed from the stone cold caves of the Black Hills surrounding them.
Recognizing that they were not booing him because they disapproved of him, President Obama, flapping his arms up in a neo-liberal version of Richard Nixon's classic victory gesture, returned their boos, further driving his eerie audience into an orgasmic frenzy.
As she watched and listened from the shelter of a nearby cave, Michelle could not have been more proud of her ebonic mate; she coming from Zombie stock herself.
