The wind did it. So they say.
Hogwash! It wasn't the wind at all. It was a group of elves from Santa's workshop who made a quick visit from the North Pole to Washington, D.C., and knocked down the tree. Why? you ask.
Chief Elf Elvis, at a press conference held at the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, admitted that his group had done the deed. And he told reporters why:
"To call attention to the fact that we are disgusted with the number of Americans who are rallying against the pay and benefits earned by public service workers. These are the folks who teach your kids, protect you, your home and property, and collect your garbage. For goodness' sake, treat them with a little dignity."
When Elvis was asked if his boss approved of their actions, he said YES and added that Santa was keeping a list of the naughty and nice in regard to the treatment of public service workers. He also pointed out, "Come Christmas, the naughty will be receiving their just desserts. Let's just say Santa is stocking up on tons and tons of coal."
Later in the evening, although there were many flight delays (of conventional flights, that is), Rudolph and cohorts arrived right on schedule with their sleigh to transport the elves back to the North Pole.
"And to all a good night," Elvis shouted several times, as the sleigh soared over the city lights.
