Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

image for The Amazing Reason Why New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Endorsed Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney's pet cat, which he named "Old Mittens" after his own nickname. (Photo by Herman Cain).

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Mitt Romney's The Mormon Master Bus Tour pulled into Oshkosh, Wisconsin, the town famous for having been the place where the first grilled cheese sandwich was grilled.

"Old Mittens" spoke at an empty lot located next to a Pompous Pizza Parlor that is currently under construction.

Romney was asked if he will continue to spar with Texas Governor Rick Perry during the GOP debates. He smiled and said that he will continue trying to get a word in edge wise since Perry seems to have a penchant for interrupting him.

A local newspaper reporter with The Oshkosh Daily Cheese Grater, Nifty Wagweather, asked him if maybe he didn't do a little interrupting himself.

"Positively not!" Shouted Romney. I never ever interrupt anyone when they are talking.

"But governor isn't it true that you stated that..."

Romney interrupted and asked the reporter if she had a legitimate question or if she was just here to ask him questions intended to get him all pissed off, hot and bothered, and upset all to hell.

"Well governor if I may, I just want to..."

"Next question?" Romney yelled out.

"Hello Mr. Romney, my name is Ling Chow Rangoon and I am a reporter with iRumors. And if you think for one second that you are going to interrupt me and embarrass me the way you did that poor little young newspaper reporter then fella I hope you brought your effen lunch cause we are gonna be here a while.

Romney turned as pink as a Cleveland carnation.

"And just who the hell are you again, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

Rangoon rolled her eyes. She shook her head and replied "Okay, once again Skippy, and do try to pay attention this time. My name is Rangoon, Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors. And like I said you may jump all over some little naive, inexperienced newspaper reporter's butt, and you may make Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann cry on national television, and you may even get away with embarrassing Ron Paul by saying that he is older than the Mediterranean Sea but just as sure as Uranus is a planet you sir are not going to get away with mistreating me like you mistreat others."

"Old Mittens" realized that he had met his match. "Okay." He replied softly, "Miss Rangoon go ahead and ask me your question please."

Rangoon smiled and remarked that she wanted for him to address the question that the only reason that New Jersey Governor Chris Christi had endorsed him was because he (Romney) had found his weak spot and given him a $700 gift certificate to McDonald's.

Romney simply shook his head. He did not say a word. He quickly got on his campaign bus and had his driver drive out of Oshkosh at a high rate of speed.

The highly prestigious national news agency The American Federation of News Reporters recently named Ling Chow Rangoon as The Most Relentless Hard Hitting Reporter In The United States.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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