Executive Order: Governor Rick Perry Outlaws Condom Sales In Texas

Funny story written by bob42

Saturday, 24 September 2011

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Perry: God tells me condoms are no longer necessary in Texas.

AUSTIN (AP) Late yesterday, Texas Governor and recently announced Republican candidate for President, Rick Perry, announced that he had issued an executive order that in effect, prohibits the sale of condoms in Texas.

In a widely televised and internet streamed signing cermony held on the steps of the Texas Capitol, Perry proclaimed, "Because of the 100% effectiveness of my Abstinence Only sexual education policies, condoms are certainly no longer necessary in the great state of Texas. And in every case, conception is God's decision, not ours."

Perry's executive order establishes a licensing committee that grants final approval for a new mandatory photo ID to be issued to any citizen that applies for the right to purchase condoms. The executive order also requires a 120 day waiting period after approval.

Perry's nominations to the committee include San Antonio mega-church Pastor John Hagee, a consensus of the Bishops of the Archdiocese of Texas, and a super majority of the Plano Texas PTA.

As a result of the executive order, which takes effect in 48 hours, condom sales are soaring in Texas.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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