London-Rupert Murdoch admitted that he is spying on Spoof writers because he fears their journalist integrity is killing his bottom line.
"I was disappointed when I discovered that most Spoof writers are so boring that my voyeuristic fantasies couldn't be fulfilled by anything my spies found on computer hard drives they stole from The Spoof newsroom." Mr. Murdoch said.
Mr. Murdoch made millions of dollars by selling sensationalism on his Fox network, and was visibly upset with the revelation that Spoof writers don't live outside the norms of society.
"Now I have to get some interns to Photoshop some pictures of Spoof writers getting drunk. I really hate it when my interns can't read to me from Penthouse Forum because they have to create lies for my newspapers and news networks." Mr. Murdoch said.
The Spoof was shocked that Mr. Murdoch even knew they existed.