Edinburgh - A Stars and Stripes crop circle composed entirely of the reviled Christmas Day brassicas has sprung up outside the Queen's bedroom window in Scotland.
Its appearance on Holyrood Palace's lush turds - er...turves! - came within minutes of a coffin-shaped UFO's low altitude flypast on the eve of Independence Day.
Witnesses this afternoon described a strange pong 'a bit like embalming fluid' that wafted down from the contrail, 'reminiscent of Boxing Day leftovers in a mortician's larder'.
"Does this mean aliens are finally coming for her?" worried flunkies demanded as news of the crop circle spread throughout the castle.
Images of the phenomenon soon went viral after someone noticed it's the original 1776/1777 standard of the United States - composed of 13 alternate red and white stripes and a union of 13 white stars in a blue field - that's adorning the royal lawns.
A traditional 4th Palace garden party for SNP tossers and their supporters may now be cancelled.
