Landslide win for Non Voters

Funny story written by j.w.

Saturday, 7 May 2011


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Non voters celebrate victory

There was a 58% no vote for not voting at the Referendum on the Alternative to Voting. Far behind was the No vote at 32% and those for AV at 10%. This result was so startling no commentators could bear to mention it in their summary of the Referendum result.

An incredible coalition between factions not always in agreement was behind the great non voting victory. The Monarchists wanted a return to the Divine Right of Kings, having picked up support from viewers of the Henry VIII sex romps. The Aristocrats, who always knew they should be the ones to rule by birthright, stable mates of the Monarchists, also favoured abstention. Bankers who know they are ruling anyway had formed a special organisation Bankers Only Now Know (Bonk) and the Bonkers did very well in the City of London.

Then there were those who favoured Dictatorship - followers of Lenin and Stalin coming together in a modern Soviet/Nazi Pact with the followers of Hitler. We also had 57 varieties of Trotkyist World Revolution Now cliques ignoring the AV vote. They were joined by the Pornites, both soft and hard, who valued viewing porn high above voting in some sexless election.

Then there were those watching repeats of the Royal Wedding, those listening to the full works of Beethoven and a few who even spent the time watching people selling diamonds on TV all day.

Finally a disparate body of anarchists organised the take over of Gaddafi properties in London.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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