Stupid Public Votes Themselves Into Rut

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Friday, 6 May 2011

LONDON - After the Alternative Vote (AV) referendum results were released with 67% saying No and 21% saying Yes, many social scientists are commenting on the idiocy of the British public.

"Wow..." said one, "Just wow. When given the chance to make things a step fairer for themselves, they decide to vote themselves back into the very hole AV could get them out of."

First Past the Post (FPTP) means the person with the most votes wins - so if you get 33% of the votes and win, you win, which leaves 67% of the voices unheard.

AV would have made the minimum percentage 50%, meaning to win you'd need 50% of the vote - so you'd represent at least most of the constituency.

"It's better to have two slices of great bread [AV as part of PR]," said Nick Robinson, political correspondent for the BBC, "than a whole loaf of stale bread [FPTP]. Sadly, the UK wants to either starve, or die of salmonella."

No-one is more angry, however, than Inhopeless, a self-described leftist that makes 'Socialism [look] like UKIP'.

"I'm not surprised at all," he said, "the nation runs on retail, and therefore advertisement. Most voters are sheeple who will believe the scare tactics used by the NO team. More like NO to Common Sense. You know who's even stupider? The entire City and Metropolitan Borough of Birmingham. 80% said NO. EIGHTY. I've lost faith in my home-city."

We left him ranting and fuming.

Already many forecasters are seeing a rough ride until 2015 for the Lib Dems, who also lost nine councils in the local elections for unitarian and metropolitan councils, with the Cons GAINING councils. GAINING.

This shows that the poor Lib Dems are being the bearers of bad news and taking the full force of the hit from the general public.

What have we learnt from today's events?

Whatever happens, never, never, never, trust the public to do anything. At all.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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