Jordan To Be Next Judge on X-Factor

Funny story written by dutch

Sunday, 20 February 2011

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There has been much rumour and speculation about the line up for the judges panel of this year's UK X-Factor. With Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole debunking to the USA fevered rumours have been flying about, about which celebrities could replace them.

The smart money is on Robbie Williams to replace Simon Cowell and Jordan as a possible replacement for Cheryl Cole.

Insiders have claimed that music mogul Simon Cowell is considering Jordan as a possibility to fill one of the judging spots on the UK show.

He apparently said said: "Do I want Jordan to judge on The X Factor panel? Yeah, that could work. Why not?

"I like her as a person. In fact I'd even go as far to say she's my woman of the decade."

Jordan has let Simon Cowell know that she is 'available' and that she is keen to fill Cheryl's stiletto shoes.

She has let it be known that she is willing to use her plush ranch style home as a lush venue for the 'judges home' week of the audition process.

Her new job has caused much celebration amongst her fan base of young girls who are aspiring to be 'glamour models' just like Jordan.

Other music insiders have said that she is not really a singer or performer and is not suited to judge a talent show.

As a bona-fide celebrity it is said that Jordan will bring a touch of 'glamour' to the panel and will make up for losing the lovely Cheryl.

Louis has said, "Jordan is a forthright and direct person and will be able to engage with the young wannabes at the audition stage."

However Danni reportedly has tried to 'freeze' Jordan out and said "Who let the dogs out" quoiting her friend Victoria Beckham.

Jordan is keen to be on the X-Factor show and use it as a vehicle to fuel her celebrity life style and provide plenty of fodder for 'Heat' and 'Closer'.

Hairdresser Gary Cockerill said that Jordan had told him that she would be needing new hair-extensions soon and that she wanted to be at her 'glamour girl' best for when the X-Factor auditions started. She has requested a huge pink trailer which is an American RV with a plush dressing room and accommodation for her huge entourage.

Jordan has said that she has taken what David Cameron has said about everyone in the nation working and not 'sponging' off the welfare state. She said, "I am doing my bit to encourage youngsters to do their best to make it in showbiz." I have said that I am willing to be an NVQ tutor and help them achieve a qualification in 'performing art'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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