Written by dutch

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

image for Jordan's kids seized in dawn swoop by Social Services
Cookie Crumbles For Flaky Jordan

In a shock move the children of glamour model Jordan have been seized in a dawn swoop by social services.

Jordan, otherwise known as Katie Price, is said to be devastated by what has happened. She is shocked that former husband Peter Andre has 'grassed her up' with social services; with a dossier of evidence that she is not a fit mother.

All three of Jordan's children including Harvey who is the child of a footballer and not of Peter Andre have gone to live with Peter Andre and Elen Rives.

Peter Andre is a very good father and dotes on the three children. He is determined to give them as good an upbringing as possible. He was concerned about Jordan's bizarre 'car crash' lifestyle. Things came to a head when Princess came for a visit with her father and had an unexplained burn on her back.

Peter Andre has previously complained about Jordan straightening Princess's naturally curly blond her. Her mother has also put make-up on Princess as well as false eyelashes and then put a picture online.

Jordan is said to be stunned by what has happened and is said to be taking legal advice. She said 'I have always been a wonderful mum and spent Valentine's day baking cookies with my three precious kids." The former glamour model has found it hard to comprehend what has happened. She is said to be incandescent with rage with Peter Andre; it is also rumoured that Andre has been in 'cahoots' with Alex Reid and the pair have been united in a common hatred of Jordan.

Jordan had tried to keep Alex 'sweet' by taking for a luxury weekend break at a hotel spa. Frinds say her motive was purely self-interested as she feared Alex 'spilling the beans' to Andre. Apparently Jordan has been filmed shouting expletives at her children.

However, Jordan is said to think that she is a perfect mum as she has bought her three kids their own ponies and said "I have moved heaven and earth to give my kids a good life."

Jordan is said to have turned to 'silver fox' Max Clifford for advice and representation. Clifford has said that it is "absolutely ludicrous" to say that Jordan is not a fit mother. Clifford has also been a 'sugar daddy' to Kerry Katona and helped her to improve her image. Clifford has advised Jordan to go to parenting classes and to prove that she is a good mum. He has lashed out at Andre and said, "Peter Andre has contributed virtually nothing financially to his children's upbringing. Katie has had to shoulder the financial responsibility to bring up the children and has been the sole bread-winner in the household. Peter Andre has been more concerned about his singing career. He has been scoring points off Katie and only wants to boost the popularity of his reality television programme."

Jordan is said to be considering going to America to visit her powerful friend Simon Cowell who will be able to use his clout to defeat Andre in the custody battle over the three children.

Jordan said that Peter Andre had completely disrupted her children's routine. She said the children have been taken out of their school and are missing out on vital education. It is feared that Andre will do a runner with the children and take them to live in his villa in Greece.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
47 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more