It's what the parent of every knows is there but is unable to locate, but when one Stoke-on-Trent mum had a delve around under her son's bed yesterday, she got a good deal more than she bargained for - a bogey the size of a tennis ball!
Karen Low-Cal, 46, was carrying out her daily routine of finding strange and interesting objects under the bed of her 9-year-old son, Child C, when her hand brushed against something which she now describes as:
"tacky, sticky and rubbery. Glutinous, like a stress ball."
It turned out to be a giant accumulation of months of bogey-picking by C, who had then laboured for hours in rolling the mucatic mess into a literal superball of bogeys - or, a Superbogey.
Said Karen:
"He's had a few sniffles lately, what with all that snow, and I've seen him with his finger stuck up his snout once or twice, but nothing had prepared me for this - it's gross!"
She went on:
"It was like one of those green stress balls, but when I dug my fingers in, it all went under my nails and wouldn't come out. On closer inspection, and after tasting, I realised that it was just one great big ball of congealed formed snot."
Although this Superbogey was a big one, Child C will have some way to go if he wishes to break the world record for a bogey. The biggest bogey ever found under a bed was one discovered in Papua New Guinea in 1976 when (rest of report lost in transmission)
