Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

The bad sex literary prize has been awarded to the author Rowan Somerville (no relation either to celebrated gay singer Jimmy or Rowan as in Mr. Bean).

This prestigious prize is awarded annually to authors who just cannot write about sex in a decent, horny, steamy, explicit fashion.

They beat about the bush (not the pubic one) and never get down to the real "nitty gritty hardcore" meaning of sex.

In his winning book Rowan Somerville described a sexual act being similar to turning a dead fish on it's belly and giving it a slap or two between the pubes?

He deservedly won the prize, but also counter attacked because the piece he wrote described Brits having sex and explained:

"British sex is actually the poorest in developed countries, they just can't do it like the French (69), the Germans (up against the wall), the Italians with flowers stuck in their orifices, stinking of garlic and serenading their partners to a Rossini opera, etc."

Mary Whitehouse was not available for comment, she was nodding off in her wheelchair dreaming of past sexual encounters missed because she was wearing her chastity belt.

Hopefully this particular Spoof has redeemed the bad sex reputation of the Brits and will be in line for the Pulitzer prize 2011!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sex, Books

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