UK Finally Renames Agatha Christie's 'Ten Little N--ers', 70 Years After First Publication

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Sunday, 21 November 2010

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Ten Little what, a--holes?

A publisher's Crime Club has finally got around to changing the name of Agatha Christie's 1939 novel "Ten Little Niggers", some seventy years after the rest of the world realized that it was the most f--ked up name for a book ever invented.

"We have decided th follow the lead of Dodd, Mead and Company, and rename 'Ten Little Niggers', so that it more accurately reflects today's standards," the company said in a press release.

The Crime Club was the Netflix of its era. Beginning in 1930, customers registered their name and address with the club and were sent a Newsletter every three months which advised them of the latest books which had been or were to be issued; this marketing scheme was later used by Columbia House, allowing millions of customers to pay $24.99 a month for Bee-Gees 8-tracks mailed directly to their house.

This is not the first time that the Crime Club has summarily pissed off a minority. In 1958, Truman Capote's most famous novella was published under its original name, "Breakfast At Tiffany's, Where The Money-Grubbing Jews Work."

A Latin-American subsidiary also drew fire when they republished an edition of Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra's Don Quijote subtitled "Un Spic que Tuvieron Sexo Con un Madricon Llamado Pancho."

In the novel, ten black people, who have previously been complicit in the deaths of others but have escaped notice or punishment, are lured by the promise of watermelon and Nike Air Force Ones to come onto an island. Even though the guests are the only people on the island, they are all mysteriously murdered one by one, in a manner paralleling the old nursery rhyme, "Ten Little Indians".

It is Christie's best-selling novel with 100 million sales to date, making it the world's best-selling racist diatribe ever, beating 'Mien Kampf', 'Little Black Sambo' and 'The Qur'an'. It has been adapted into several plays, films, a video game, and the cause of the 1966 Watts riots.

A newly named "Ten Little Smoked Irish Macaca Quashies" will be stolen from UK bookshops starting in December.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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