Isle of Wight News - Ribbon cutters' Union to be formed

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Ribbon cutters' Union to be formed
Joe (Two-Fingers) Sharply, following a recent Ribbon Cutting Ceremony on the Isle of Wight.

Following the recent interview of Council Leader David Pugh by Spoof journalist Victor Nicholas where Pugh is quoted to have said,

" Elevating the importance of ribbon cutting is something that he hopes to fight for in the future.", Pugh has been inundated with calls from 'ribbon cutters' across the Isle of Wight who are praising him for his words.

The majority want to form a Union of Ribbon Cutters on the Isle so that ONLY CARD CARRYING UNION MEMBERS will be allowed to carry out this most honoured ceremony in future.

They promised Pugh that he will be made an honourary member of the Union, once they are 'unionized', as he enjoys ribbon cutting so much.

Each unionized ribbon cutter will receive a special pair of scissors engraved with their name. Non-payment of Union Dues 3 months 'in a row' will result in indiduals having their scissors 'taken away' until 'dues' are paid up to date.

These plans are rather premature as the union does not yet exist. However, Ribbon Cutters are remaining optimistic.

"This is definitely 'cutting' edge news,' commented Joe (Two-Fingers)Sharply, of Newby, Isle of Wight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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