Charles & Camilla were today mobbed by fans in London's West End, as they arrived for The Royal Variety Performance. The fans were those people who were unable to get tickets, but still showed up to see Britain's favourite royals.
Unfortunately, when Charles and Camilla saw the excited crowd, they mistakenly took them for the protesting students, who, at the time, were up the road trying to ransack the Treasury and Houses of Parliament, as well as kicking the shit out of as many coppers as they could get their hands on.
Such was the reaction of the royals, police and Royal Protection Officers assumed the couple were under attack. Camilla had exited the 1977 Rolls Royce Silver Phantom through the rear passenger window. She was last seen galloping towards Buckingham Palace mews and the comfort of some fresh hay.
Charles, on the other hand, was a quivering wreck and had to be prised, screaming, from the back of the car. He was bundled into an ambulance, where he was treated for acute faecal incontinence, before being rushed back to Buckingham Palace to be comforted by his favourite footman.
Buckingham Palace issued a statement saying that Charles & Camilla were unhurt, however Charles had badly stained a new pair of trousers and Camilla had almost swallowed her bit.
