The latest bombshell from Winkileaks reveals never before seen documents linking the lineage of US President Barry Obama and Prince Charles thanks to state of the art laboratory DNA profiling and ear analysis in the government funded sterile mouse laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine.
While both Charles and Barry have what have been called in unflattering terms, 'Flapper Ears', it wasn't until Obama's summer vacation on scenic Mt. Desert Island which snarled traffic and severely curtailed much needed tourist dollars, that the similarities became the impetus for a lucrative government grant to study the phenomenon.
Winkileaks, gaining access to medical files of both high profile figures from a bi-sexual lab technician, noticed that both were prone to ear infections, especially during March when the wind was noticed to blow the hardest.
Both were noted to be hard of hearing as they seemed out of touch with reality and certainly not in tune with public sentiment in their own countries.
Reports state that both are unduly influenced by whispers in their ears by dominant mates, and that sucking on their ear lobes drives them to distraction causing them to make impossibly ridiculous statements.
The supposition is that Obama's father, a world traveller and noted sperm donor, somewhere in the formerly great empire of Britain where the sun never used to set, had a brief sexual congress with a member of the Royal Family resulting in the further dissemination of the Elephant Ear Gene, most likely during a sojourn to India.
According to the leaked documents, Obama was not surprised concerning the revelations reportedly telling his Doctor, "Well, Dad got around quite a bit, and never liked to stay in one place too long, although he did like to plant his flag just to show he'd "been there, done her!" It's a tribal kind of thing that runs in the family!"
A reflective Obama was said to have mused, "Well, I may have Charlie's ears, but I know for a fact his dick ain't as big...he got that recessive gene Dad reserved for all those white people!"