According to some claims being bandied around, the announcement of Prince William and Kate Middletons intended nuptials is just a smokescreen and nothing more than a cynical attempt to bamboozle the public into a 'feel good' mood despite the ever decreasing quality of life for ordinary folk.
One insider has reportedly let slip that Wills hadn't intended doing anything like this until at least after the Olympics in 2012, but was asked to take into consideration the needs of the British people at this time and give them something else to focus on, other than the fact that they cant afford the latest expensive electronic shit that they don't really need to buy their children this Christmas, so will be buying cheaper Christmas presents, but still spending the same amount as last year on booze, because lets face it, that's what kept the country going through previous annus horribilis and the dark days of yesterannus.
The Government have denied the Spring wedding and the announcement date have all coincided to take the heat off how badly the country is being run and is in no way an attempt to polish a turd.
One cabinet spokesmen said 'they do love a nice royal wedding don't they eh? The old folk? Eh?'
