"These are at a party", we were told. "That's our Kate hanging naked upside down by her toes from the chandelier! See the birthmark?"
Yes we did but who said she had a birth mark?
The West Coast Post decided to buy them anyway but we won't publish them until we know she has that birth mark.
Moving along the street I next met a guy in a trench coat.
"Pssst. You with the scandal sheets?"
"Yes I am. You have a bit of scandal about the royal couple's upcoming wedding?"
"As a matter of fact..."
"Is she hanging upside down naked from a chandelier?"
"No mate, she's naked and eating monkey brains. Scooping them out of the poor things head what's been cut open. Eating with her fingers. She could have at least used a proper utensil"
"And what is the proper utensil for eating monkey brains? Never mind."
So I bought these too.
Then after purchasing one that had Kate Middleton naked in the arms of Bernie Madoff, who was also naked, I mailed these off to the Post at the post.
Then I went into The Goose & Squirts and drank some Old Peculiar and listened to nine or ten other nude Kate Middleton poses.
This is Tooter Ben Hadd for the West Coast Post!