William gives Kate Middleton a cursed ring

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for William gives Kate Middleton a cursed ring
The previous owner of the ring

One of the last things Princess Diana gave her eldest son, William, was her sapphire and diamond encrusted engagement ring given to her by Prince Charles. It is worth forty thousand pounds in terms of carats and gold, in terms of its history, it is priceless.

Royal Historian, Getta Lyffe, has studied the history of this particular ring, which dates back to 1522, when it was specially commissioned by Henry VIII for his second wife Anne Boleyn. Anne was tried, and convicted of treason and beheaded.

"Since the Boleyn incident," said Lyffe, "the ring has passed from monarch to monarch. Many think that it is this ring that Tolkein based his ring on, but to me, that is tenuous. It's history of woe is long. Mary took the ring when she married Philip of Spain, and her reign was one of terrible suffering."

The next monarch to use the ring was Charles, who married a fifteen year old French girl, Anne. Charles was beheaded. The line passed through a succession of barren marriages, and sudden deaths to George V, who at first thought that the curse was a mere fantasy, until, during his reign, the British Monarchy was finally stripped of all it's parliamentary powers.

"That was a hard time for the monarchy," Lyffe said. "They became mere figureheads, something to put on stamps and coins, George died a broken man."

The previous incumbent of the ring was Charles and Diana.

And everybody knows how that ended.

William has said that the curse is nothing but a fancy story told by royal nannies to scare royal children at bed time. However, Kate Middleton has secretly told friends that she is a little worried, and when showing the ring to the world for the first time, she could be seen fiddling with it, and looking like it weighed heavily on her finger.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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