Isle of Wight News - Chain Ferry out of action; Again!

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 12 November 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Chain Ferry out of action; Again!
The proposed new bridge

The chain link car ferry that connects Cowes to East Cowes is out of action, yet again.

Severe weather on the island over the past few weeks has resulted in localised flooding around the chain link ferry connection points. This follows on from the ferry being out of action during a large portion of the summer due to chain expansion in the heat.

"This is getting seriously silly," said local resident Humphrey Dumphrey, 47. "I am a regular user of the ferry to get from my house in East Cowes to my job as a milkman in Cowes."

Engineers are currently working on draining the water from the ferry port, and installing drainage to prevent this kind of catastrophe from happing again in the future.

"We expect to have the ferry re-opened sometime in early December," said Paul Luscka. "Unless we get snow, then I cannot promise anything."

The ferry itself is over two hundred years old, although it has only been in use for about half that time. So far, all of the chains, pulleys, the raft, and both ports have been replaced, and yet it continues to have problems. Plans for the ferry to be replaced by the Brooklyn Bridge are awaiting the paperwork to go through after Cowes bought the bridge from a visiting American.

"It wasn't this bad during Victoria's reign," said Dumphrey. "I blame modern attitudes."

During the drainage works, there will be a replacement bus service for foot passengers and a replacement car-transporter for vehicle passengers. Please note, passengers are not allowed on the car-transporter, and will have to use the replacement bus. The bus leaves every hour, the car-transporter every third Friday.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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