Isle of Wight News - Lonley Heart gets more than he bargained for

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Lonley Heart gets more than he bargained for
Lonely Hearts really works.

Ryde man, 35, GSOH, would like to meet woman 25-35, NS, for illicit affair. Secrecy guaranteed. Box 7.

So read the ad that we ran three weeks ago. Kyle Lars got more than he bargained for when his ad was answered, and he arranged to meet up with the lady that answered. When he met up with his mistress-to-be, imagine his surprise when he discovered that it was Mrs Brenda Lars, his wife of fifteen years!

"At first," said Mrs Lars, 34, a non-smoker with a good sense of humour, "we were both mortified."

"We were," Mr Lars admitted. "We stood there in Newport Fish Restaurant holding pink carnations and looked at each other like, well, idiots holding pink carnations in a cafe."

After they had got over the initial shock of meeting each other for an illicit affair, the pair discovered that they still had a lot in common and it has reignited their stilted relationship.

"We've both decided to keep the affair going," said Brenda. "We make excuses to sneak out without telling the other where we're going, and then meet up with our affair in secret locations."

"It's brought the fun back into our relationship," said Kyle. "I can heartily recommend it to any couple who feels their relationship has lost its spark."

The only downside to this illicit affair is that they are both planning on leaving their current partners in order to get married. However, this story is a happy ending for the pair, and it shows the power of the Isle of Wight Lonely Hearts column!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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