Full extent of David Cameron's photo addiction exposed

Funny story written by Katarina Frogpond2

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Full extent of David Cameron's photo addiction exposed
A very sad victim of photographaphilia

A top Professor from the World Health Organisation has tonight revealed that he believes David Cameron could be suffering from a newly identified health disorder,which involves a total addiction to being photographed at all times.

The disorder is thought to have affected more than 20 million people world wide, mostly without them even knowing about it. It was identified by Professor David Bailley in 2002, and he has been trying to get people to take it seriously ever since. He said,"This condition has now reached epidemic proportions and is so disruptive to the sufferers every day life that it should really be classified as a disability"

The new illness has been dubbed Photographaphilia because the main symptoms include excessive photo posing at all times - even when photo posing could pose a risk to the sufferers life or finances. Several deaths have been directly linked to Photographaphilia and it is now thought to be the leading cause of death in 18 to 50 year olds.

The condition is cash consuming too. Most badly affected are the people who pay photographers to follow them around recording their day to day lives. These include David Beckham, Katie Price, Pete Doherty etc. And David Cameron, too, it seems.

Professor Bailley says he realised he had to speak out about his suspicions when he heard that David Cameron was being villainised in the press for paying a photographer to photograph him out of tax payers money.

He said that David was being unfairly victimised because he couldn't help being afflicted by the disorder. Its like an addiction to alcohol or crack cocaine. Its a life wrecker. He would like David Cameron to admit he has a problem so he can get some help. Also he would like him to become a patron of his charity which aims to raise awareness of the disorder.

"If it was a recognised disability, Mr Cameron wouldn't have to pay someone to take photos of him because he could claim his photographer on prescription on the NHS.

David isn't alone in his suffering. Professor Bailley has seen evidence of this tragic condition on his computer every day for the past two years. People are organising their social lives around photo-taking and photoposing. A weekend activity isn't a weekend activity unless it produces photo opportunities for images that can later be posted on facebook.

One sufferer said "If I can't be photographed at a party or an event then, what's the point in going. Its like that Buddhist thing about trees falling in woods. If I'm not constantly photographed, does that mean I don't exist."

Well, it does for David Cameron. He says he likes to be photographed on average at least 20 times a day, or else he just doesn't feel like he's visible enough publicly. He also spends his time looking in mirrors, fixing his hair, and practicing different smiles, just in case he gets photographed unofficially.

Professor Bailley says there is hope for David, and would like him to phone him at the World Health Organisation so he can arrange for him to go to a PA meeting. That's photographaphiliacs Anonymous. It might just save his life. His last message to David is simple. "Watch out for cars". Apparently being run over, whilst having a photo taken is the leading cause of death for Photographophiliacs. Now, that's tragic.

By Katarina Frogpond.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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