Cameron requests Semtex be included in toner cartridges

Written by Deafo

Monday, 1 November 2010

image for Cameron requests Semtex be included in toner cartridges
Paper jams could have more serious consequences in future

Prime Minister David Cameron has provoked outrage amongst some of the most powerful printer manufacturers worldwide by insisting Semtex is included in all future production of toner cartridges.

The request was made in direct response to the recent attempted terrorist attacks on a number of Trans-Atlantic cargo flights, and more specifically to the threat posed by Pentaerythritol tetranitrate (PETN), the difficult to detect plastic explosive contained within the improvised devices.

In an emergency meeting, chaired by the Prime Minister, he insisted a small amount of Semtex be placed in each unit produced in order to ensure any similar explosive devices would be intercepted by existing air port detection systems.

Manufacturers are said to have reacted furiously to the request and pointedly refused to comply, fearing the broader implications of such a move.

'There is absolutely no way we would consider such a preposterous proposition. This would put more dangerous explosives into the hands of terrorists and we would effectively become arms dealers,' said Peter Part, Chief Executive of Nerox.

A spokesperson for the Prime Minister said he felt the move was 'necessary', as printer manufacturers 'needed to play a more active role in addressing the threat of terrorism' but stated he was happy to put talks 'on hold until further research was conducted.'

PETN is one of the components of Semtex. It is colourless, odourless and is virtually undetectable when wrapped tightly by foreign hands.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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