Dangerous royals to be fitted with GPS trackers

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 5 June 2010

image for Dangerous royals to be fitted with GPS trackers
Charles' proctologist secretly fitted one up HRH's arse years ago

London - (Rotters): The dangerous wackjobs are to be fitted with loony bin-style satellite tracking devices to stop them escaping justice and reoffending.

Royal Protection Racket officers want GPS ankle bracelets soldered onto desperate wannabes like Camilla, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie and Kate Middleton.

Other medium and high-risk crackpots like Sophie Wessex, Peter and Zara Philips, the Duchess of York and Prince Harry's slapper Chelsy Davy will be offered the choice of a GPS subcutaneous implant.

A covert pilot scheme last year saw dozens of minor royals followed via secret surveillance trackers hidden inside earrings, brooches and tampons.

The scheme may also be extended to nutter MPs like Zac Goldsmith and Nick Clegg.

Prince Philip spawned Cumbria psycho Derrick Bird.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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