Scotland "Can't Afford Union"

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 16 October 2010

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Can ye spare a quid?

Scotland can no longer afford the union with the rest of the UK, according to Scottish Nationalist Party Finance Secretary John Swinney.

He told the SNP conference in Perth that proposed UK government spending cuts could mean that the Scottish parliament could lose £1.1bn.

Mr Swinney did not make clear how an independent Scotland would make up the shortfall, but one SNP insider has shown us figures which demonstrate how the Union costs Scotland.

"It's they flags, ye ken," said the source. "As long as we're in the damned Union we have to have all that red in the flag. If we're oot, it's jest the bonnie Saltire - the flag o' St Andrew - a white cross on a blue backgroond.

"The damned Union Flag has way mair work in it, not tae mention all that red. That's a lot o' silk.

"Considering how many flags we fly 'roond here, that's a lot o' money. An' we have to be careful, ye ken."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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