Written by Sidney Bollocks

Sunday, 10 October 2010

image for Hugh Grant glum on 50th birthday
Hardly Divine...

Whilst Hugh Grant has made no secret of dreading reaching his half century, one would have thought that he could have raised at least a smile. However, it seems even indulging oneself with a brand new Ferrari California, costing in the neighbourhood of 140 grand and which would give most blokes an instant erection, was just not enough.

As Grant was seen inspecting his new toy, the paparazzi who were present were surprised to find that he had a face like a smacked arse. When wished happy birthday by the lensmen, he simply replied "I am too old, I want to die. Can you take me to Switzerland?"

The salesman who had just delivered Grant's Ferrari, however, was able to shed some light on his miserable disposition, saying "Hugh did not realise that a 1:1 scale latex doll of Divine Brown, complete with vibrating open mouth, plastered with vivid red lipstick and securely anchored in the front passenger seat, was an optional extra and not standard. To add to the problem, we don't have one in stock. The best I can offer him is one of our Amy Winehouse models. He's not a happy bunny".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Hugh Grant




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