Isle Of Wight Hospital's "Embarrassing" Security Breach

Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

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Polyester had time for a snack!

An urgent overhaul of hospital security was launched in Isle of Wight hospitals last night after a man was found to have "walked in" to an NH Walk-In Centre in Shanklin.

Sources close to NHS authorities on the island described the security breach as "embarrassing."

At the centre of the storm is 46-year-old Whiteley Bank man Milton Polyester.

He said: "I had a few days off, so I went for a walk round Shanklin and I saw this sign at the hospital that said 'Walk-In Centre' so thought I'd have a look.

"I went through the door and no-one gave me a second glance. It started to rain outside and I noticed there were some magazines lying around so I decided to have a sit down. There was quite a few people in there but I found a comfy seat and picked up a magazine.

"Then I noticed a couple of vending machines - it was a while since breakfast so I got myself a pack of crisps, a chocolate bar and a cup of tea, which was a bit weak.

"After a couple of hours a nice young lady came and asked me what was wrong. When I told her that nothing was, she asked me if I was waiting for someone and I said 'no' and she said that I should leave. It had stopped raining, so I left.

"It was very strange."

We immediately contacted the NHS on the Island. A spokesman said: "This is an embarrassing breach of security and we have launched an inquiry with immediate effect."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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