Isle of Wight News - Horse Movement Restriction Lifted

Written by IainB

Thursday, 26 August 2010

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Horse riding on Colwell Bay beach can once again resume

The Horse Movement Restriction put in place in July due to the outbreak of Horse Immunoglobulin Virus has been lifted.

The Council of the Isle of Wight have decreed that the outbreak has been contained, and is now only affecting horses in the south of the island. The HIV affected horses have been isolated and are being humanely cared for at the Saint Lawrence Horse Sanctuary and Adhesive's Supplier.

Hillary Altinthorpe, 51, of the Council has nothing but praise for the island residents.

"This has been a trying time for the residents of the Isle of Wight," said Altinthorpe. "We know how important horses are to the economy of the island, and we can now get back to our usual pursuits and pastimes using our beloved equine friends, except for the people of Saint Lawrence, for whom the restrictions are still in place."

Newport Medical Labs have been working overtime to get the vaccinations needed for the island's twelve thousand horses produced and distributed.

"We don't yet know the origin vector of HIV," said head biologist at NML, Tony Pelvis. "However, as it is transmitted via horserider's backsides, we think it may have been carried onto the island by a tourist who wished to try one of the many pony-trekking trails on the island."

There is no truth to the rumour that HIV is sexually transmitted, as Pelvis would like to reassure the island's animal porn industry.

"The Filming of Sluts on the Farm Five can go ahead now that the horses have been inoculated," said Pelvis.

For resident's of the island who have been affected by these restrictions, the Isle of Wight News would love to hear of your problems and successes during this trying period.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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