Isle Of Wight News - Hog Jaw Arkansas Twinning "Never Really An Option" Says Ryde Kebab Shop Proprietor.

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 19 August 2010

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Aren't Cats Cute - They Never Get Hysterical.

Ryde kebab and pizzeria shop proprietor Ali Bullo, today pitched his views in on the failed twinning bid between Ryde, Isle of Wight and Hog Jaw, Arkansas, USA.

Ali Bullo, creator of the Full English Breakfast pizza contacted IOWN to say that he wasn't entirely satisfied with Mayor Adcock's assertion that Hog Jaw is too far ahead, culturally and intellectually, of the Isle of Wight, and that maybe at some future juncture, Ryde and Hog Jaw could be twinned.

"Will never happen," Ali Bullo insisted. "Truth is - as slow as we are, we're still in front of Hog Jaw. People in Hog Jaw very slow. They no pleased that Mayor Adcock is gay man. In Hog Jaw they shoot gay men, just before they settle down to watch WCW wrestling on ESPN. Or that gay man-love game they call football. Truth is, that here in Ryde, we just get on with it innit. Somebody different - so what?"

We spoke to Mayor Dumpty of Hog Jaw on the telephone, and he denied Ali Bullo's accusations, telling our reporter that Hog Jaw is a forward thinking community, who yearn for a return to the 1950s halcyon days of America, with Mom and Pop stores on Main Street, picket fences, the Twilight Zone and the Outer Limits on TV, and Audie Murphy showing at the drive-in.

"No happen," Ali Bullo asserted. "No drive-in any more. Is all 50" plasma screen and HD. No Main Street - now is Wal-Mart. Mayor Dumpty live in dream world - next thing him want automotive industry to thrive in Detroit, safe streets in New York, decent Hollywood movies, and no serial killers. Him live in cloud cuckoo land. Maybe him should have nice kebab and calm down."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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