No Angels HIV Singer Nadja Benaissa Kept 'Schtum' Because - She Claims - She "Had Band's Best Interests At Heart"

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

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Nadja Benaissa, the singer with German girl band No Angels, has told a court that she had unprotected sex with several partners without warning them she was HIV-positive "to protect the best interests of the band".

Benaissa, 28, was speaking at the opening of her trial in the German city of Darmstadt. She sang to the court:

"I am so sorry."

She denied deliberately infecting anyone.
This was not sung.

The singer also said that she feared that admitting her HIV infection "would probably have meant the end for No Angels", said her lawyer, Oliver Wallasch, and she wasn't having that.

Miss Benaissa then gave a rousing rendition of one of the tracks from the band's new album, when she went on:

"I had to protect ze band
Zey mean everysing to me
Selfisch fuck zat I am
Lock me up, and zrow away ze key!"

Many in court wept, but most were weeping for the poor guy to whom this stupid bitch had given HIV. One of those present told me:

"She voss certainly no angel. Zat's a joke, Tommy!"

She faces a charge of grievous bodily harm for allegedly infecting the man, and has also been charged with attempted bodily harm for allegedly having sex with two other men who had not become infected.

The charges carry a prison sentence ranging from six months to 10 years. They should give her the full whack, and zrow away ze key.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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