Isle of Wight News: High-Speed Rail System from Cowes to Ryde Proposed

Written by Charpa93

Friday, 13 August 2010

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At last Monday's IOW Tourism Board meeting in Cowes, the proposal to build a high-speed train system from Cowes to Ryde was again pushed to the front of the agenda. County planners have long held that such a system would do much to bring even more tourism to the tiny island. They believe it would facilitate thirsty travelers who believe the 5-10 minute bus ride takes too long to make it from Cowes pubs to those in Ryde on a typical Saturday.

"Although it is the old-world charm that brings many mainlanders to our tiny island," said one proponent of the high-speed rail, "the drinkers are also spending a lot of their hard-earned cash here. Their complaints about getting from one pub to the next in record time have been heard. We need the speed," he said.

If all goes well, the final vote to spend the lion's share of the county's coffers on the high-speed rail system will pass overwhelmingly, and railway planners can set about the task of re-engineering the existing train tracks from Cowes to Ryde in time for next summer's holiday travelers to enjoy.

Asked if more cities will be added as stops for the high-speed rail system, Cowes councillor, Clive Dinglehops stated that the IOW only has enough money to go from Cowes to Ryde at the moment but believe that with the new system in place, it will bring in the much-needed revenue to expand the system to other cities, and eventually even to the eastern side of the island.

The Isle of Wight have always welcomed hardy drinkers to its shores and the completion of this project will prove once and for all that we are the destination for sots the world over," claims Dinglehops.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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