Cat Woman Mary Bale Inundated With Job Offers

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 26 August 2010

image for Cat Woman Mary Bale Inundated With Job Offers
I'd like to see her try to put this in a bin!

Mary Bale, the woman who dumped a cat in a wheelie bin near her home in Coventry earlier this week, claims she has been inundated with job offers from people who feel they can no longer look after their feline companions.

Bale, 45, claimed she slung Lola the Cat into the green wheelie bin "in a moment of misjudgment", but the bank worker has since received 'an avalanche' of requests from those who either don't want their cats anymore, or who couldn't stand the wretched things in the first place.

She told me this morning:

"It's been a whirlwind few days, really! First, the cat thing, then the coppers and the media, and now the offers of work to top the week off. Wonderful, really wonderful!"

Mary has had to ask her husband to refrain from going to work this week, so that he can deal with all of the phone calls she has been getting, which have come from all over the country. Bert, a Council binman, told me:

"She's had more than two thousand job offers from cat-haters all over the UK, people who just can't seem to be able to drown the damned things themselves! They realise it takes a special kind of person to get the job done, and my wife is that person. God bless her!"

An armed police unit is still stationed outside the Bale's residence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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